I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
