that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
