puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
