Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
