I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I have already put on my inside pants.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
