I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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