Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
