also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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