Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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