is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
