She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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