All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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