Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I have already put on my inside pants.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
