he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
