Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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