I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
