Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
