so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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