Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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