Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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