Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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