His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
