She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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