So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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