i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
