Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
