I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
