Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
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