Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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