Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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