wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Why is there bacon in the couch?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
