Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize