just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
