I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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