Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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