Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
