you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
