Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
