Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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