Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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