I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
MIDGETS
????
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
