she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
