Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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