She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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