oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
