all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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