Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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