I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
