He kissed a someone with a penis
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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