Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
