I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
