The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
There's always time for handjobs
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize