so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
