Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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