so explain again why im purple
no
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
