I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
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