you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
