So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
