discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize