Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
