she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
