it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
