Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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