Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
