I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
